this project has all but been abandoned.
perhaps i overestimated my peers.
perhaps i underestimated my insanity.

either way, i shall pray nonetheless, that someone, somewhere has the balls to make this ridiculous asinine thing happen - for i cannot do it alone...

(acutally, i haven't done it at all but i am dying to see how many people i can get to do it!!)

may the force be with you!

(thanks to all my supporters - without your willingness to look like an ass, i would be alone with my salami)

w8ing to fall...

it's about time i returned....
i am already tired of this dreadful summer weather - the sweaty, sticky steam bath bullshit that attracts skanks to the beaches and anorexics to bathing suits.

i am ready for fall - for the harvest - for the magic - for the creepy and crispy air.

will others join in on the salami project?
who knows....

but either way...
autumn is coming....

hope you are too!
xoxo
luvautumn

One last bit of advice to the intrepid Salami-Nighter...

In the event of pursuit by Salamiphobes, there are certain countermeasures that can be taken. If you are being pursued by some sort of animal, step one is to assess the threat level. (example, a squirrel would have a relatively low threat profile, whereas, say, a grizzly bear might chart slightly higher on the old threat-o-meter.) ONLY, and I cannot stress this highly enough, ONLY jettison your precious Salami cargo if the situation is literally life or death. (And perhaps not even then, a few martyrs would really help gain publicity for the cause.) As a matter of fact, I do not want to hear that any of you tossed off your Salami for anything less than a T-Rex. (and if you are attacked by a T-Rex, what the hell kind of neighborhood are you Salami'ing anyways??) If, on the more likely occurence, that you are being chased by other humans there are a few simple steps that can be taken to avoid, or at the very least delay, capture.

Step 1: reach into your Salami-Sack, take a slice of Salami, and quickly, but accurately chew it into a (patent-pending) Salamask (illus. below), then duct tape that over your face Hannibal Lecter style. (this has the dual effect of hiding your true identity, while also giving you a quick energy boost from the succulent bites of Salami taken from the Salamask)

(<----- Silence of the Salami!)

Step 2: Remove your pants. (This has a tendency to both amuse and confuse those who are chasing you. Plus, it gives you even more reason to not get caught. Gettin caught with a Salami-Sack, and a roll of duct tape would be bad enough, but to be caught with all of that AND not be wearing pants? Awk-ward!)

Step 3: The moment that you are out of sight, find a safe location, and HIDE THE SALAMI! (above all, the Salami must be saved. If caught, the worst that will happen is that you may be severely beaten, and/ or spend a night in jail, playing an entirely different variety of "hide the Salami")

Step 4: Take copious amounts of photographs for evidentiary purposes. (plus, again, the cause needs all the publicity it can get.)

Step 5: Post the aforementioned pictures here, on any webpages that you may already have, on friends webpages, on your mother's refrigerator, on any sites that you can hack into. Basically anywhere that there is any chance that anyone may see them. SPREAD THE WORD!